It’s almost 1 AM and I can’t sleep. I’ve had the most creative energy tonight than I’ve had in a couple of weeks, and when that happens to an artist- they must embrace it. I wrote three songs tonight. None of them solid or finished but they all have the structure to turn into something great with a little more work and a second visit.
Sometimes writing amazes me, I mean the process. I’ve been writing stories and poetry, essays, journal entries and songs now for years and years, but I’m so far from understanding how it works. It’s like this organic process that happens in my brain that in some ways, I have almost no control over. I can’t decide when I want to write; the writing decides for me. I’ll hit dry patches when I’m stressed, and I’ll sit down to write thinking, “I really need to get this off my chest,” or, “writing always makes me feel better,” and I can’t. I’m frozen. The cogs of whatever mysterious and invisible machine are immoveable, my creativity; intangible. And then, just like that, a day or two later it (whatever ‘it’ is) goes into overdrive. I can’t stop thinking in lyrics. It’s like life is a walking poem that doesn’t slow down, and every once in a while I get a real and true glimpse of it- I find the exact words that I am feeling and I find myself scribbling on napkins, post its or typing madly on the notepad of my iPhone trying to articulate the poetry around me. Of course I always fall short, all writers do. There are not enough words in any language to describe the course of action we take, or emotion we endure.
I’m so excited to share my new album with the world, but I’m also so nervous. Dave (my producer) is honestly a musical visionary and virtuoso and I totally lucked out partnering up with him. Nonetheless, I hear every flaw in the songs. My tone, my voice, my strumming- I’m critical of every note, and every 16th note in between. I guess I need to keep in mind that I’m probably the worst critic I’ll ever have to face. Isn’t that a strange concept? Oddly, other times I think I sound so good I have no idea how I came up with that one chord, or line. Pardon my philosophical banter- I told you I was channeling lots of creative energy tonight!
If you’re still reading, you must be a real fan, and for that I am very thankful. I’ve been blessed with so much support from family, friends and strangers. Thanks for tuning in. I love you.
A.S.
